It has been a long week with so much happening at the Children’s Home we run in Kenya that I needed a few laughs. A kind friend sent me the following.
IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn’t work)
IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
OUTSIDE A FARM: Horse manure – 50 pence per pre-packed bag; 20 pence do-it-yourself.
ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)
ENGLISH SIGN IN A GERMAN CAFE: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hans Before Eating.
OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
OUTSIDE A NEW TOWN HALL WHICH WAS TO BE OPENED BY THE PRINCE OF WALES: The Town Hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.
QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
NOTICE SENT TO RESIDENTS OF A WILTSHIRE PARISH: Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER’S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
ON A MOTORWAY GARAGE: Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
Get to see more of the world (including the funny signs) by joining Christian House Sitters and benefiting from rent-free accommodation and/or having someone look after your home and pets free of charge while you are away travelling. Details www.Christian-housesitters.com
If you would like to know why this has been such a busy week at our Children’s Home please have a look here www.tlc-childrenstrust.org/update.htm
God bless you,
We are part of the registered charity
TLC Children’s Trust
UK Charity number 1156786
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