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Time to Laugh

It has been a long week with so much happening at the Children’s Home we run in Kenya that I needed a few laughs. A kind friend sent me the following.

SIGNS FROM AROUND THE WORLDFishing for Children. Limit 3

IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn’t work)

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

OUTSIDE A FARM: Horse manure – 50 pence per pre-packed bag; 20 pence do-it-yourself.

ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

ENGLISH SIGN IN A GERMAN CAFE: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hans Before Eating.

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

OUTSIDE A NEW TOWN HALL WHICH WAS TO BE OPENED BY THE PRINCE OF WALES: The Town Hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.

Confusing road signOUTSIDE A DISCO: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

NOTICE SENT TO RESIDENTS OF A WILTSHIRE PARISH: Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER’S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

ON A MOTORWAY GARAGE: Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

Get to see more of the world (including the funny signs) by joining Christian House Sitters and benefiting from rent-free accommodation and/or having someone look after your home and pets free of charge while you are away travelling. Details www.Christian-housesitters.com

If you would like to know why this has been such a busy week at our Children’s Home please have a look here www.tlc-childrenstrust.org/update.htm

God bless you,

Ray

We are part of the registered charity

TLC Children’s Trust

UK Charity number 1156786

www.tlc-childrenstrust.org

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About housesitters

ABOUT Christian House Sitters Christian House Sitters is a Worldwide ministry that started in order to provide holidays for Christians and sitters for owners who needed a reliable Christian to look after their home, pets and garden. House owners do not pay anything to have their property listed. House sitters are only charged £25 per year and in return for this some enjoy numerous holidays each year. All fees from membership go to sponsor food for children at the Home of Peace Children’s Home in Kenya. This only supplies about a quarter of what is needed to feed the children so we urgently need sponsors. All funds go via our Registered Charity TLC Children’s Trust Charity Number 1156786 website http://www.tlc-childrenstrust.org N.B. Joining Christian House Sitters does NOT commit you to sponsoring a child or giving any support beyond your membership fee to these children. Although naturally if you want to support that would be greatly appreciated. We have some regular sponsors and other people who give an occasional gift. All are greatly appreciated. ABOUT RAY & MARILYN We are Marilyn & Ray White. A fun loving Christian couple who have been in Christian work for over 30 years. Marilyn was born in England but moved to Zimbabwe as a baby. At the age of 16 she moved to South Africa. Ray was born in South Africa and grew up on a farm. We met in Johannesburg and got married in 1966. Ray worked in business for many years then he worked for YfC in South Africa then went on to Bible College and Pastored a church. In 1982 we moved from South Africa to England. In addition to his theological training Ray trained in Psychology and since moving to the UK he has lectured in Psychology, counselled for the NHS and opened a Christian Counselling Centre. Marilyn is also a trained counsellor and manager. In addition to the counselling we trained Christian counsellors both in our local area and by invitation in other areas of the UK. In total over 700 people completed the training courses. Many are serving the Lord by working in or through their local churches. We also ran a secular Stress Management business. We are now semi-retired and focus our time and attention on Christian House Sitters and Ray also serves as a member of our Church Leadership Team. Ray also has an active preaching ministry and runs Christian seminars on subjects such as stress management for church groups. He has written two books. A Christian book that is a very practical workbook on Christian commitment as applied to real life. The book looks at how we can surrender ourselves more fully to God. This is looked at under the headings of Physical, Mental, Social and Spiritual commitment. The book is called Let’s Get Serious. He has also written a secular book on Stress Management called Stress Overcoming this Potential Killer. (Ray was previously Chair of the International Stress Management Association UK). News Update This book has now been released as an e-book as well A few years ago we did a 2 month House Sit in France. Whilst there we felt the Lord leading us to set up a Christian House Sitting service. Since then we have done a number of other house sits. We believe this site will benefit many Christians around the world. Feel free to contact us (BUT please no spam) NOTE: If you want a fast reply the best way to contact us is via the contact page on the Christian House Sitters website www.christian-housesitters.com God bless you, Ray & Marilyn

4 responses »

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