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Time for a good laugh.

Stupid People

My sincere thanks to the friend who sent me the following. Sorry I can’t acknowledge the author as I have no idea who it was.

At Christian House Sitters we always like to have a good laugh and especially when it is travel related as our ministry is helping people travel and enjoy rent-free vacations all over the world.

For details CLICK HERE

RESERVATIONS OF AN AIRLINE AGENT

I work in a central reservation office of an airline. After more than 130,000 conversations — all ending with “Have a nice day and thanks for calling” — I think it’s fair to say that I’m a survivor.

I’ve made it through all the calls from adults who didn’t know the difference between a.m. and p.m., from mothers of military recruits who didn’t trust their little soldiers to get it right, from the woman who called to get advice on how to handle her teenage daughter, from the man who wanted to ride inside the kennel with his dog so he wouldn’t have to pay for a seat, from the woman who wanted to know why she had to change clothes on our flight between Chicago and Washington (she was told she’d have to make a change between the two cities) and from the man who asked if I’d like to discuss the existential humanism that emanates from the soul of Habeeb.

In five years, I’ve received more than a boot camp education regarding the astonishing lack of awareness of our American citizenry. This lack of awareness encompasses every region of the country, economic status, ethnic background, and level of education. My battles have included everything from a man not knowing how to spell the name of the town he was from, to another not recognizing the name of “Iowa” as being a state, to another who thought he had to apply for a foreign passport to fly to West Virginia. They are the enemy and they are everywhere.

In the history of the world there has never been as much communication and new things to learn as today. Yet, after asking a woman from New York what city she wanted to go to in Arizona, she asked “Oh…is it a big place?”

I talked to a woman in Denver who had never heard of Cincinnati, a man in Minneapolis who didn’t know there was more than one city in the South (“wherever the South is”), a woman in Nashville who asked, “Instead of paying for my ticket, can I just donate the money to the National Cancer Society?”, and a man in Dallas who tried to pay for his ticket by sticking quarters in the pay phone he was calling from.

I knew a full invasion was on the way when, shortly after signing on, a man asked if we flew to exit 35 on the New Jersey Turnpike. Then a woman asked if we flew to area code 304. And I knew I had been shipped off to the front when I was asked, “When an airplace comes in, does that mean it’s arriving or departing?” I remembered the strict training we had received — four weeks of regimented classes on airline codes, computer technology, and telephone behaviour — and it allowed for no means of retaliation. “Troops,” we were told, “it’s real hell out there and ya got no defence. You’re going to hear things so silly you can’t even make ’em up. You’ll try to explain things to your friends that you don’t even believe yourself, and just when you think you’ve heard it all, someone will ask if they can get a free round-trip ticket to Europe by reciting ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’.”

Well, Sarge was right. It wasn’t long before I suffered a direct hit from a woman who wanted to fly to Hippopotamus, NY. After assuring her that there was no such city, she became irate and said it was a big city with a big airport. I asked if Hippopotamus was near Albany or Syracuse. It wasn’t. Then I asked if it was near Buffalo. “Buffalo!” she said. “I knew it was a big animal!”

Then I crawled out of my bunker long enough to be confronted by a man who tried to catch our flight in Maconga. I told him I’d never heard of Maconga and we certainly didn’t fly to it. Be he insisted we did and to prove it he showed me his ticket: Macon, GA.

I’ve done nothing during my conversational confrontations to indicate that I couldn’t understand English. But after quoting the round-trip fare the passenger just asked for, he’ll always ask: “…Is that one-way?” I never understood why they always question if what I just gave them is what they just asked for. Then I realized it was part of the hell Sarge told us about.

But I’ve survived to direct the lost, correct the wrong, comfort the weary, teach U.S. geography and give tutoring in the spelling and pronunciation of American cities. I have been told things like: “I can’t go stand-by for your flight because I’m in a wheelchair.” I’ve been asked such questions as: “I have a connecting flight to Knoxville. Does that mean the plane sticks to something?” And once a man wanted to go to Illinois. When I asked what city he wanted to go to in Illinois, he said, “Cleveland, Ohio.”

After 130,000 little wars of varying degrees, I’m a wise old veteran of the communication conflict and can anticipate with accuracy what the next move by “them” will be. Seventy-five percent won’t have anything to write on. Half will not have thought about when they’re returning. A third won’t know where they’re going; 10 percent won’t care where they’re going. A few won’t care if they get back. And James will be the first name of half the men who call.

But even if James doesn’t care if he gets to the city he never heard of; even if he thinks he has to change clothes on our plane that may stick to something; even if he can’t spell, pronounce, or remember what city he’s returning to, he’ll get there because I’ve worked very hard to make sure that he can. Then with a click of the phone, he’ll become a part of my past and I’ll be hoping the next caller at least knows what day it is.

Oh, and James…”Thanks for calling and have a nice day.”

God bless you

Ray

 

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About housesitters

ABOUT Christian House Sitters Christian House Sitters is a Worldwide ministry that started in order to provide holidays for Christians and sitters for owners who needed a reliable Christian to look after their home, pets and garden. House owners do not pay anything to have their property listed. House sitters are only charged £25 per year and in return for this some enjoy numerous holidays each year. All fees from membership go to sponsor food for children at the Home of Peace Children’s Home in Kenya. This only supplies about a quarter of what is needed to feed the children so we urgently need sponsors. All funds go via our Registered Charity TLC Children’s Trust Charity Number 1156786 website http://www.tlc-childrenstrust.org N.B. Joining Christian House Sitters does NOT commit you to sponsoring a child or giving any support beyond your membership fee to these children. Although naturally if you want to support that would be greatly appreciated. We have some regular sponsors and other people who give an occasional gift. All are greatly appreciated. ABOUT RAY & MARILYN We are Marilyn & Ray White. A fun loving Christian couple who have been in Christian work for over 30 years. Marilyn was born in England but moved to Zimbabwe as a baby. At the age of 16 she moved to South Africa. Ray was born in South Africa and grew up on a farm. We met in Johannesburg and got married in 1966. Ray worked in business for many years then he worked for YfC in South Africa then went on to Bible College and Pastored a church. In 1982 we moved from South Africa to England. In addition to his theological training Ray trained in Psychology and since moving to the UK he has lectured in Psychology, counselled for the NHS and opened a Christian Counselling Centre. Marilyn is also a trained counsellor and manager. In addition to the counselling we trained Christian counsellors both in our local area and by invitation in other areas of the UK. In total over 700 people completed the training courses. Many are serving the Lord by working in or through their local churches. We also ran a secular Stress Management business. We are now semi-retired and focus our time and attention on Christian House Sitters and Ray also serves as a member of our Church Leadership Team. Ray also has an active preaching ministry and runs Christian seminars on subjects such as stress management for church groups. He has written two books. A Christian book that is a very practical workbook on Christian commitment as applied to real life. The book looks at how we can surrender ourselves more fully to God. This is looked at under the headings of Physical, Mental, Social and Spiritual commitment. The book is called Let’s Get Serious. He has also written a secular book on Stress Management called Stress Overcoming this Potential Killer. (Ray was previously Chair of the International Stress Management Association UK). News Update This book has now been released as an e-book as well A few years ago we did a 2 month House Sit in France. Whilst there we felt the Lord leading us to set up a Christian House Sitting service. Since then we have done a number of other house sits. We believe this site will benefit many Christians around the world. Feel free to contact us (BUT please no spam) NOTE: If you want a fast reply the best way to contact us is via the contact page on the Christian House Sitters website www.christian-housesitters.com God bless you, Ray & Marilyn

3 responses »

  1. Thank you Ray for making me laugh. I looked for the origin of this, and found it had been quoted in “Frequent Flyer Humor and One-Upmanship” by George W. Stewart Many pages of this book are available through Google Books: http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=5-UxGMfOUvgC&pg=PA1&lpg=PA1&dq=%22I+work+in+a+central+reservation+office+of+an+airline%22&source=bl&ots=9L2A1BUHQY&sig=JNa3B15qCRIwVIB6767dbHFCW7M&hl=en&sa=X&ei=F6zfUuOTMuqg7Abtn4HICQ&ved=0CDMQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=%22I%20work%20in%20a%20central%20reservation%20office%20of%20an%20airline%22&f=false So you multiplied my laughs today 🙂 Charles†

    Reply
  2. This is simply hilarious thanks for sharing!

    Reply

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